Ripples..

ahhhh.
i thought i'd gotten rid of the pain and depression.
evidentally.....not.
ouch.

remind me not to ever watch a romance movie again.
especially not one about losing people.
moulin rouge.

the song on the end credits was one we used in drama.
for this concentration camp thing. called erica.

hmmm.
had a good night really.
me, lou and scot went to tesco.
bought moulin rouge, some mac n cheese and pick me up.

the adults arent back til late.
nothing to do now.......

loss is a weird sensation.
mine's a feeling that your heart has been cut by a huge dirty blade, and is throbbing constantly.
sometimes when you're happy..it fades..
but then when your alone, with time to think...you feel it again.
i dont like to be alone anymore.

and what josh and jodie are doing..is just adding salt, lemon and acid to the wound.
very dramatic i know.
i like poetry.
i havent done any in a while actually.
or any songs.

spoke to matt again today.
amazingly, it didnt bring back any old feelings.
just made me reminisce a bit.
last year was so different.

im off to bed now.
i hope lou's music ive stolen helps cheer me up. ♥
i apologise for this blog.

josh, i hope you get what you deserve..and i pray to god, that you dont mess jodie up like you've messed me up.

xxx