ugh
this feels like hell.
i can't breathe.
i can't think.
i don't know how to feel...or how i'm meant to be feeling.
i can't breathe.
i can't think.
i don't know how to feel...or how i'm meant to be feeling.
i feel utterly alone for the first time in my life ever.
i've always had someone there ALL the time...that's how i like things to be.
and now...i don't have that.
Gale loves me, poor lass.
i do love her. but i'm tainted. i haven't gotten over Hayley and she knows that.
i don't even think i've gotten over Emma.
i always seems to get over her, and then my feelings will re-emerge from absolutely nowhere.
anyway..she's with Leaa (my ex) now so she's happy. she's a lot happier now than when we were together...so i'm happy for her.
i've always had someone there ALL the time...that's how i like things to be.
and now...i don't have that.
Gale loves me, poor lass.
i do love her. but i'm tainted. i haven't gotten over Hayley and she knows that.
i don't even think i've gotten over Emma.
i always seems to get over her, and then my feelings will re-emerge from absolutely nowhere.
anyway..she's with Leaa (my ex) now so she's happy. she's a lot happier now than when we were together...so i'm happy for her.
Hayley's after this Imogen lass. who i swear has a girlfriend already....
she keeps posting shit on Tumblr and she knows it gets to me.
so i deleted her off Facebook, because she posts stuff on there too...and it was just getting too much.
she keeps inboxing me asking why i've deleted her, and i'm yet to reply.
i'm still hurting too bad to want to talk to her.
i don't deal with breakups well.
infact i don't deal with them at all, i jump back into another relationship! ha...
she keeps posting shit on Tumblr and she knows it gets to me.
so i deleted her off Facebook, because she posts stuff on there too...and it was just getting too much.
she keeps inboxing me asking why i've deleted her, and i'm yet to reply.
i'm still hurting too bad to want to talk to her.
i don't deal with breakups well.
infact i don't deal with them at all, i jump back into another relationship! ha...
so....this is my last few weeks of living at home.
i'll be moving to university come september time....eurghhh. scary.
hopefully i'll meet some interesting people there though.
quite looking forward to it....but scared!
i'll be moving to university come september time....eurghhh. scary.
hopefully i'll meet some interesting people there though.
quite looking forward to it....but scared!
i turn 18 in a week.
that's even scarier!
i've had this blog since i was 15, ha! 3 years..
so much has changed.
that's even scarier!
i've had this blog since i was 15, ha! 3 years..
so much has changed.
keep having the recurring dreams about Lh wanting to be friends again.
then i wake up and for a split second, i forget i'm in the real world.......and then it all comes rushing back. blah.
then i wake up and for a split second, i forget i'm in the real world.......and then it all comes rushing back. blah.
i cut off all my hair. it's pretty short now..like, just rests on my shoulders.
but i wear it in pigtails so it looks even shorter, ha.
but i wear it in pigtails so it looks even shorter, ha.
seems like it's time for me to grow up.
i don't want to....and i'm barely coping as it is.
as soon as i get to uni, i'm signing up for counselling.
i need to get myself sorted once and for all, because i just know being at uni and not having to worry about hiding cuts from Mum/Dad will mean i'll be about 92549523 X more tempted to do something silly...hm.
i don't want to....and i'm barely coping as it is.
as soon as i get to uni, i'm signing up for counselling.
i need to get myself sorted once and for all, because i just know being at uni and not having to worry about hiding cuts from Mum/Dad will mean i'll be about 92549523 X more tempted to do something silly...hm.
Derby Pride on Saturday.
Notts Pride was mint t'other week <3
Notts Pride was mint t'other week <3
will stick some recent snaps on.
Lora <3
