*blank expression*

im like a zombie.
except im feeling.
feeling way way too much.
it's ok, ill get so overwhelmed by it, that ill be numb again.

listening to katy perry.

just read annie's blog.
i wish my life were as happless as hers.
the only worry being college assignments.
tho they are a worry too.

jee is out down the pub with her mates.
i hope she's having fun.
she needs it.

and so im sitting her at my computer, after talking to josh and luke and getting a lot of "you'll be alright"'s ...feeling shit. been crying a bit too, but stopped now.

mum's watching white chicks.

i wish i could describe everything im feeling.
but that would mean explaining the entire situation.
which isnt good.

i choked on a scotch pancake earlier.
was worth it.

x

p.s. the pictures are of happier times.

fuck fuck fuck fuck SORRY!!

shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
..flob. O_o

im so so so so sorry :( :(
im such an airhead.
i cant believe i didnt think.
:( :( :( :(

i hope things get better.
im here for you. ♥

sorry to both of you. ♥

xx

coochie and big joe.

yo.
well today was alright.
3rd day at work...i feel old :L
in a surprisingly good mood this aftie.
i think izzy and her mum have that effect on me.
which is good :)
sadly..the music i listen to will most probably bring me back down :L

today was pretty hard-going. lot of physical energy required!
fortunately..i can now eat whatever the hell i like cause im just burning it back off in the day :L compared to college, im practically running miles.

babysitting tonight.
will be nice to see kirst again :)
even tho i only saw her last weekend :L

not much to say tbh.
i love coochie and big joe the cats :)
got attacked by a crazy lady today :L she wouldnt stop talking to me about her dead cat!!! :s
i was like "oh..erm k"
i hate her tho cause she took busby...who was my favvy kitten :/

i hope we get to socialise (aka play with) the kittens tomo. <3 >

off now xxx

do i regret it or not?

well i tried...
but failed :L
sorry josh.

had my first day of work experience today.
twas alright really.
hard work and im quite tired now and just want to lay down for a bit.
though my leg hurts now.
never mind.
ill be rate.
...

theres some really cute cats at cats protection :)
busby the kitten, greystone this grey and white sad looking pusscat and my fav..patience :) she looks like she's part persian because of her squished face :D ♥

not looking forward to tomo tho :L
just cba.
alwell..only 2 weeks and 4 days to go....

i should be hungry..seeing as i havent eaten since lunchtime apart from 4 mini eggs (go izzy's mum! you rock!)..but ive been nomming on 'talc mints' (tah annie) so im not hungry anymore :L
hmm...
bowl of coco pops...
VS..
bowl of chicken soup..
??!!!

♫ how did we get here, when i used to know you so well.

god i love paramore.
decode ♥

did more drawings last night..well...two..
one of alice (deviantart fursona... http://www.missloraamy.deviantart.com/ <<>

just my thoughts at the time on who am i.
i dont even understand myself.
hmm.

i havent been too bad today..just.....numb.
again.
still.
i can put on a very good face :)
theres been a few true smiles..but thats about it.
i dont really have many reasons to be happy.
im not healthy.
im not loved.
i dont have anything to make me happy.
apart from lh and my fam'.
occasionally bibbs..so it seems these days.
which is the biggest shame ever :/
i may have to go round hers thursday.
ill have to see.
maybe friday? hmm...

will shove some random pics on here from half term i guess.

xx

here we go again

"your daughter's depressed, we'll get her straight on the prozac, but little do you know, she already takes crack"

hello my old friend numbness.
i may actually create a character called numb.

bye bye my other reasons for living.
lh ♥
the. only. reason.

i think im gonna throw up

malicious little child

deary me, im in one of those moods again.
hmmm...jenny's fault. ¬_¬ cow. fuck off to scot.

oh dear...reminds me not to look out of windows in the dark.
just saw something..
as per.

god im messed up.

ugh..theres a person in the window.
i dont dare look again.
i just saw shoulders.

imaginattttiooooooonnnnnn.

you know, every single time i cross the road and there's a car on it's way?
you know what i think of?
i think of what it would be like if i just....stopped walking.
stopped infront of the car, or lorry, or van.
hmm.
not the nicest thought ever i suppose.
it's been on my mind all day.

laura heard ♥
the legend that makes my life a whole lot easier to live.
i think i'd have gone by now if it werent for her.

of course, bibbs too. though i dont see nearly enough of her these days.
im sorry for thursday.

and jee is the third one. i wish we could talk more, she's always busy. i just dont have a life. i exist with the same ritual, wake up, breathe, blog, sleep. and so on.

linkin park - in the end. ♥♥♥

saw scot at 30stm last night.
was a bloody AWESOME gig.
got moshed so much (Y)

no emoticons....well...apart from the ¬_¬ and the (Y)
that was stupid.

i can already feel it going.
byeeeeeeeeee whatever was left of the life i had.
the life where i never wore black, had a middle parting and always matched my tights with my top.
where i didnt cover up.
where i rarely wore eyeliner.

well thats all gone now.

welcome to the new world.

da da doo doo

da da da dance, dance, dance, just just just just dance :) ♫

ew..i had some prawn balls just left over from last night's chinky..and i think they went bad.
i keep burping and my tummy is a bit wobbly. :L
im probably gonna hurl in the night ¬_¬ never mind, im well overdue for one :L

bibbs is checkin cinema times for tomo.
jee was meant to be sleeping mine tomo night..but she was meant to text me tonight saying whether or not she could because of work on friday.
but she hasnt....¬¬
she is a bit unreliable atm :L
never mind.
ive been entertained by josh today ^_^
literally been talking to him ALL day ;o
we're getting on still :L
trying to convince him to tell me something atm.
PLEEEEEASE josh tell me!!!! :)

have told bibbs that percy jackson (lead lad in percy jackson blah blah blah some geeky film) is HOT ;) he bloody is!!! :P
ewww..it smells of cat poo :( erlack!!
oh great..it's mixed with the smell of prawns ¬¬

;o low phone battery! bah!!
but..lady gaga :D POKERFACE xD

*burps*
those prawns are making me burp.

damn..phone jus ran out of battery ¬_¬
ok..off now.

toodles!!

Lora :) xx

p.s. the pic of me and josh is the one that bothered me the other day...and remains the only one of us two that bothers me at all.

bonjourno ma amies

well, i had an absolutely fab time shopping yesterday with Bibbs and K :)
bought sooo much x]
i got this blazer and stripey tee to go with it..and i actually have curves!!
i havent seen them in ages.
all i wear is baggy tees this days ;o
im impressed :)

been talking to josh for a while today.
ive probs got a text from him now actually..but my phone's ran out of charge and i cba to grab my charger as im going to bed in a sec.

been nice to talk to him though.
actually been getting on like we're friends.
weird..but kinda nice.

jee, the daft sod, left her phone at work on sunday.
and only just text me at around 11am today.
she is forgetful :)
never mind.

im covered in cuts atm.
accidental ones!! ofc. i was getting my razor out my overnight bag t'other day, and accidentally cut myself loads when i was picking up other stuff and forgot it was in my hand.

cant remember if i mentioned that in my last blog? hmm.
probably :L

made pancakes today.
they all failed quite epically O.o
nice tho :)

had a blood test this morning.
i might have this disease called reinards..or however you spell it.
im gonna research it now...

oh no..it's "raynauds".

5 mins later...
well i hope i dont have that O.o
it doesnt sound too good tbh!
hmm.
google it.

but i dont have blue toes?
but they do go white a lot.
my tablets ive been taking help.
hmm.

anyway...no point in fretting :)
i think i just have slow blood circulation.
*groan*
ahhh shit.
every. single. time. i have a blood test, i get told im anaemic, and get put on bloody iron tablets/liquid ¬_¬ and last time i was low on folic acid too!
iron tablets are FOUL to crunch because i never used to be able to swallow them..but i can now probs. i've had to adapt..if i crunched my current ones...id die :L
iron liquid is even worse! it's literally like licking the side of a car. REALLY metallic :s
and folic acid liquid is like flem...it's even warm!! :s even if its been in the fridge! it's like lukewarm and the same consistancy as flem *boff*
erlack!!!!!!!!

i wonder what happens to you when you're anaemic...to google!!
well..
i do have VERY pale skin..it's always cold..i get shortness of breath (but im just lazy :L)....i have weak muscles (also lazy)..and i dunno about blood pressure? hmmm.

oh dear..it can cause heart attacks O.o
bah never mind :L
cba! x]

ok..thats all :)
v. medical blog today ;)

in other news..scot's ran away..but i think he's back at home again?
hmm..

xxx

if you seek amy

if you're wondering..its a britney spears song :L
really addictive! x]

well...this weekend was a larf and a half!
im half proud..half a bit guilty :/

Thursday night
Had SUCH fun!!! Went to Jess T's, put on piles of slap, got the bus uptown, met Scot and Luke down the park first, then Lou turned up and then Chris. All of us got drunk and had a larf :D bututut...i feel MEGA guilty cause of Chris :/ i think he likes me...or did. I went over to him and said he should snog Annie, and he said "id rather snog you" ..and at that exact moment, Jess T came over and i was able to scoot back over to the rest of the group :s talk about "eek" :/ i just feel a bit bad, cause annie then made me phone him when he left to tell him :/ and he was just like "oh right ok" :s hmmm.

Russ's 50th Party

Also mega fun! Me, Lh and Jame (yes i miss the S off his name xD) were high on bloody knockoff j2os! Then i had some malibu and ended up tipsy. At the end of the night, i was laying on a single airbed with Ryan (renowned whore)..and tbh..im super proud nothing happened!! Seeing as i was tipsy too! :D i just watched tele x] omg..senseless is SUCH a good show! Mtv ♥

♫ Kiss you off these lips of mine ♫

im off to derby tomo :D
with bibbs and kirst x]
i plan to drag them both in all the scary goth shops ^_^ mwahahaha.
i have like, a hundred squid to waste on crap x] WOOOO!!

will stick some pics on here of thursday night and russ's 50th ;)

xxx

*screamo impression*..god thats brillers :L

rawrrrrr :D
well this post won't be long as i only have 10 more mins til corries on ;)
hahaha :L i may be forced to kill anniebalector. she's got....
"are ya achin? for some bacon? cause he's a big pig, and you can be a big pig too, OI!"
¬_¬

off the lion king :L bloody woman!! x]

poor Jee's pushhhhcat gambit got run over by a car :(
he's alive tho and meowing quick a lot appa, so thats good :) ♥

♫ we'll never let you gooooooo, and when you gooo dont return to me my love.

OMGOSH..hannah vickers is a LEGEND! (college mate who doesnt hang around with us but is super groovy). she gave me bloody loads of posters today ;D im v.chuffed tbh xD ♥
have seperated them into two piles, and am giving one to Lh cause i wont have any room on my wall :L pahaha.

gonna have sooooo much fun tonight sticking them up ;)
when ive done my health assignment...and done the dishes D;
bah.
only got merit to do tonight and that's sposed to be easier, which is all groovy (Y)

wooow blue october are sooo good :D (Y)

omgosh..someone said something earlier but ive forgotten what it was..it was really funny anyway :L and i said "omgosh thats going on my fb quotes"...
...hmm..*shrugs* bah.

♫ BUT THE SHIT THAT IVE DONE WITH THE SMOKE OF A GUN.

:D love that bit :L

saw josh last night..me and mum were posting a letter to his brother Roan, late bday card.
he was walking home..didnt look too happy :L

this thuuuuursday :)
this weekend is gonna be fabbity fab tbh!!! :D

ok..off to watch corrie :)

toodles!

Lora :) xx

kiss you off these lips of mine

♫ kiss you off my lips :)
looovee this song!! :D

imma at kirsty's atm. she's gone to bed tho :L
this'll probers be a short blog..cba..laptops annoy me x]

was really depressed today.
i have no idea why.
ive cheered up a lot now tho.
must have just been a side effect to the tablets.
hmm.
took two paracetomal earlier so my headaches gone :) (Y)
facebook wont let me on tonight ;o bah! tres gay c'est this lappytop. *grumpy face*

trying to be light hearted and a grinning maniac about the whole fiasco tho.
ill live (Y)

think the rents are back..*listens*...dunno :L

i really miss bibbs :/
might go see her this week.
this thursday (Y)
.....tomorrow! :L hahaha xD
ill phone her when i get homey tonighty :)

pip pip folks! x

p.s. today would have been mine and josh's 10 months..LOL! fail xD