A letter to my boyfriend..

I just wanted to get some things straight...
Im not his friend...
I havent been for months now.

Fair do's i may miss him occasionally. That's expected. He WAS my best friend at one point.

But you have to trust me! I love you. You. Not him. Not anybody else. You!
And im not gonna let anything stop that because i'm in this too far to drop out now.

And now im off on a massive ramble with you via fb chat and you'll probably go quiet now..as usual. :/

Ive sacrificed a lot. It was so worth it though. And i wouldn't change it.

Trust.
It takes a lot to build trust.
And a LOT to gain my trust because i hardly ever trust anybody.
Because trust is nearly always broken. Or at least it is in my case.

But you've earned my trust. Yet i haven't earned yours.

What do you expect me to do? Meet up with him? Run off with him? Leave you for him?

All of those are absolutely abserd ideas, and even he knows that.

He's not as evil as you think. He's even given me up. He isn't fighting for me anymore. And he isn't scheming enough to say that and be plotting something behind our backs!! He just isn't like that. I've known him for 2 years and i know he would never do anything that bad.

It's not that im sticking up for him. He's done some pretty shit things over the past 5 months. Some were mean, backstabbing and nasty. But he's also tried to let go. Which is the best thing he can do.

We need to just move past all this hatred. Because it's one sided. He doesnt hate you. Sure he may say bitchy things behind your back, but he's allowed a bit of leeway for that because it's him who loses. We "win." Actually you win. You win me. Wow. All this fighting just over me. It's so not worth it you know.

I've said it before, and i'll say it again. "i know who i can and cant live without" :/ <3

Ok..so now you're trying to freak me out by telling me you knew i was gonna post this. :L congrats, slightly scared ;) although i've come to expect these things..obviously. :P

Sorry for the rather harsh points above, i need to let my stress out some way :) and this is far better than down the phone or at my mum. :D

The blank facts..
1. I love you.
2. I'm not going to leave you for anyone.
3. Scot is not my mate, but i do talk to him occasionally, although unless there's a problem, it's him who talks to me first. It is VAIR rude not to reply and he usually has something interesting to say.
4. You need to trust me when i tell you not to hurt him. It's not going to accomplish anything. I'm gonna be hurt because you didn't listen or trust me when i asked you not to. And he wont hold back. This is the only guy who can knock my feet from under me and catch me so easily i feel like little laura. :L
5. I know now that you're my soulmate. I dont feel the need to be told that you love me. Because i know that you love me. And i hope you know that i love you. And i know that we'll have a brilliant future together. Just as well we want the same things in life. :)

That's about it :)

Just remember, i love you :)

Yours for all eternity,

Lora :) xx