rare.

my head is spinning with everything.
there's too much to think of.
i need to get university stuff sorted.
and pass my gcse maths.
as well as doing all my resubs for college.
and a ton of new assignments.
it's too much.
im just ignoring it all at the moment.
hoping it'll go away.
though i know it won't.

i haven't SH'ed since...March 27th.. that's nearly 2 months.
impressive for me.
this is the longest it's been in about a year.
doesn't mean the urges have stopped.
when i was speaking to Emma about it the other week...when she did it.
it triggered me unbelievably.
i was eyeing up where my blade is...
but i didn't.

i don't want people to be ashamed of me now.
i don't want them to look at me and just see me for the scars.
i don't want them to be disappointed when i tell them i've cut.